Hmm, this should be a good one. 😉
I’m not sure how to describe it. It has certainly changed immensely over the years because both my parents and myself have changed immensely over the years. Right now I’d say it’s pretty good.
We don’t have one of those relationships where we are at one another’s home dropping in every day and sharing meals as though I had never moved out, as I have seen some adults have with their parents. Part of that is because they live in Ottawa and I live in PEI, but even if they didn’t live so far away I like my space and so do they. We’re all pretty warm, friendly and open, but one thing that has always been present in our family is the respect for individual lives. This has been part of life since I was a child. We did a lot as a family, but we existed apart from the family unit as well. I personally view it as simply not having any co-dependency issues. But in our own way we’re still pretty close. We talk on the phone most weeks (I said weeks, not days), or communicate via e-mail or Facebook. We visit when we can, and have fun when we do. They are retiring here on the island, to our old house which is right next door. I know they will enjoy having the grand kids drop in, and us, but I know they will feel comfortable expressing if they need some space. I’m like that. I have boundaries, yet love closeness. I think it’s healthy, myself. I have never understood the extremes, such as people who never communicate with their parents or adult children, or people who have never cut the cord and desperately need to.
I think some DNA from both extended sides of the family skipped over my parents and landed directly in me at conception. My Mom says I march to the beat of my own drummer, but I’ve met a lot of people like me so I don’t think I’m that rare or peculiar except when placed in the context of my own family. And that’s cool because I love them and they love me. And there is a lot of them in me, so much so that what I say and do freaks me out at imes. This has happened the most often since I became a mother myself.
I had a great childhood, so I am grateful to my parents. I don’t feel the need to fill them in on every detail of my life, because as I mentioned, I like my space regarding material I deem of a personal nature. Not so much from them, but from everyone. It’s just me. That may seem a little conflicting with the fact that I write a blog. But I don’t put a lot of “personal” (intimate) stuff on here… I don’t feel the need to grill them about the details of their life beyond how work is going, how the rest of the family is, what they have been up to, how they are feeling, etc., because I trust that if they want to share anything else with me, they simply will. Any conversation involving politics becomes heated and ends in jokes which is great, but the heated can get to be a bit much so fort he most part I avoid mentioning my dislike for Stephen Harper. 😉
Mom laughs a lot. It’s great. You can get her laughing so hard she can barely catch her breath and then the tears are rolling down her cheeks one after the other… I do that, too. I miss my mother terribly when she leaves after a visit. Terribly. Like I wish she’d just move out here already, not so we could always hang out, but at least hang out when we’d like to. You know?
Dad. Oh, Dad lol… Dad is a Leo. I am a smart ass. We love each other very much. I drive him batty at times. He makes me angry at times. We get over it and get on with life. Because… we love each other very much. I never doubt that. I hope he doesn’t, either.
I used to think I was the less-favoured child. I don’t any more. I think I am loved for me, and have my place in my family. I think we all do. It is a wonderful thing to be all grown up and know that who you have become and who your parents have become are OK with each other. It is a wonderful thing to be not only loved, but respected. We respect each other. That’s important.
We do not have a perfect relationship. But it is good. It is good…
Can I really ask for more than that? 🙂