Half My Marriage Ago

I’m supposed to be getting homemade pizza started for dinner but it just dawned on me that last night was not only our first overnighter in 8.5 years, but since half our marriage ago.

That is a long time. In a way it feels as though the “eyeball deep in diapers” stage (which lasted 13 years for us) went by in the blink of an eye, because it felt so natural to be walking from restaurant to hotel room back down to pub and so on with The Husband last night. It felt as though we had never stopped dating to get married and have seven babies back-to-back while squeezing in the occasional dinner or lunch out here and there. That last part has become a little more frequent since Miss C. turned 3 almost two summers ago. No more diapers, a generally happy & compliant child, and teenagers who are eager to take responsibility and make a few extra dollars babysitting have helped.

But half our marriage ago. Wow. And the last time we spent a night away I was seven months pregnant with our fifth child… Before that? I believe it was on our first anniversary. We went to Boldt’s Castle while friends babysat our 2-1/2 month old son.

I really enjoyed our evening together. Our night together. Our breakfast together. I look forward to doing it again. Too soon would take away that degree of “special” that comes with having waited a long time for something. But we sure won’t be waiting another 8.5 years… 😉

People quit. People give up. People throw in the towel when they feel like life has become all about bills, laundry, work, poop, lack of sleep, lack of money, and all that seems to come with the early years of parenthood. I almost did. I’m glad I didn’t.

While I felt in some way as though 17 years hadn’t passed last night and we were dating once again, it was coupled with the feeling of depth and connection that only comes with time.  Like the roots of a tree. It was coupled with the feeling of belonging, and the sense that we are on the edge of a new and exciting chapter of our life together, and it’s ok.

I love my husband deeply. I would not be who I am today without the years spent with him, and the same goes for him as far as my presence in his life is concerned. He has told me this often.

I think I’m ready to take on a few more months of laundry, cleaning, cooking, and day-to-day now. I think I’m still a bit amazed at how much I learn about love the older I get.

Time to make that pizza. 🙂



9 thoughts on “Half My Marriage Ago

  1. This is beautiful and I can relate so much. We haven’t been away from the kids since “they” arrived, but we have been on many dates. There are definitely some ups and downs, and we all learn from those. Just like there are times when dates just didn’t happen. We seem to be going out more now that we have moved here, and yes teens are a big help with that!
    I was nodding along reading your words about the deep love and the feeling of dating but knowing him so much more now.
    Great post.

  2. Lovely post. My husband and I went out to eat last month without the children and realized that it had been several years since that had last happened, so I relate with your experience. I especially like your “roots of a tree” line…so true. It just keeps getting better, and it’s because of, not in spite of, all the mundane and the ups and downs we’ve been through together.

    1. There is a lie out there that convinces people that if things are not exciting 100% of the time then they aren’t worth our commitment. Not true at all. While we were at The Old Triangle I was watching a table with two guys & two girls, all about 30, obviously either just beginning relationships or not actually in them. The vibe I got was “double date”, but not couples who had been together for very long, for sure. Or at least not couples who had been through some serious seasons of life together… It was nice to just sit with my husband’s arm around me and enjoy the music without having to say a word. Some parts of the night were filled with talk, some were quiet, but it was all good. 🙂

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